Banana Pervs and Ice Pops

Why do I feel like I’m doing something x-rated when I’m eating a banana, lollipop or even an innocent ice pop in the heat of summer? I’ll tell you why, because of pervy men who think it’s the best thing since sliced bread and beef jerky.

Some old geezer almost broke his neck this morning peering from the next lane over into my car waiting for me to take a bite of my breakfast, a goddamn banana!! What is wrong with people?!?! I wonder if that man has a daughter, I sure as hell hope not.

These pervs have brought me to the point where I can’t even enjoy an ice pop or lollipop in public anymore. I feel like a goddamn porno show for all the losers who forget that they're old enough to be my father.

I’m pondering a social experiment involving huuuge firecracker ice pops, bananas, corn dogs and foot-long hot dogs. Hidden camera perhaps??? Watch out pervs cause I’m pissed off and I’m under a lot of wedding stress, I’m gonna call you all out!